Average Joe
Against my better judgement, last night I watched the finale of Average Joe, the infamous reality show where a beautiful girl had to pick amongst a selection of pasty, fat, geeky, nerdy guys with low self esteem.

To make a long story blissfully short, the finale pitted a nerdy guy with painfully low self-esteem who, professionally at least, appeared to have it together, against a "hunky" (sheeyearight) guy who was a waiter and lived at home with his parents.

Wow, what a tough decision! Kind of like asking a Red Sox fan who his favorite Yank-Me is. No suprise, though, in the end: the girl went with the pretty boy, and despite her angst-ridden soliloque (25c word alert) about how she "didn't want to hurt anyone" and "wished (she) could take both (on the last date)" she proceeded to make out with the "winner" in the hangar there, while the poor hack sat on the bus and watched, by himself, left to wonder if he, too, would be forced to settle with some high-maintenance, nothing-to-write-home-about pain in the ass down the road.

Yeah, sounds like she was real concerned about the loser's feelings.

How sad is it, that a show that was DESIGNED to ensure that an "average" guy hooks up with a beautiful girl, winds up with that exactly NOT happening? What are fat, pasty guys, who live to play Dungeons and Dragons in their parents' basement supposed to think now? I mean, it's like the BCS was supposed to ensure an undisputed National Champion and ensure that 1 plays 2. Which it did, and it didn't, all at the same time, if that makes any sense.

Perhaps what killed me the most is how the loser (Adam) tried, unsuccessfully, to mask his low self-esteem thoughout. Oh, yeah, he talked a great game on his way to the final rejection about how his "relationship" with the girl had evolved, and he strutted in there all cocky and grinning, but when the girl said that he wasn't the one, the facade crumbled instantly - much as it had throughout the entire series.

Folks, I would hope you didn't need me to tell this, but I will anyway: The reason these guys didn't get the girl is not because they're fat, or dumpy, or because they try to emulate the Nicholas-Cage-cum-Don-Johnson-circa-1986 look, but because they have NO SELF-CONFIDENCE. Not one of the "average" guys on this show had the self-confidence in themselves to land a babe like the fair Malena (I think that's her name).

Conversely, the guy who won (Jason) had something somewhat reasonably passing for self-confidence: he wasn't clingy or needy, and so he was able to defeat this field, even though, again, his professional career could best be described as "who dat?" This self-confidence is why he was able to stand out against a lackluster field and "win" (even though, against true Division 1-A competition he probably would have been smoked in the early rounds.)

Of course, no one is saying that any fat, pasty guy could land a hot cheerbabe just by believing in himself. But it's an integral part of the mix, and without it you go nowhere. Then, you can ignore these shows altogether and go out and find your own scoops.